GREAT MOMENTS IN USC HISTORY: KEYSHAWN JOHNSON THREATENING TO KICK JUSTIN BIEBER’S PUNK ASS
By Pac-12 Research Assistant Lina, 11:30 p.m. | What’s is up boys! Two posts in one week? What the hell is going on?!? You can file this one under the Detective Harry Callahan category of “a man has got to know his limitations,” former USC great Keyshawn Johnson has finally given the world what it has so deeply desired… a near beat down of Cousin Felipe’s boner maker, Justin Bieber.
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REVIEWING THE 2013 DRAFT AND THE OVERALL HEALTH OF THE USC FOOTBALL PROGRAM
By Rock Mayock 12:30 a.m. | This past Saturday night, the wraps were placed on the 2013 edition of the NFL Draft. The Draft has become one of the NFL’s marque events for two primary reasons. It signifies the transition from college life to professional life for 254 young men and it also serves as a barometer for the overall health of a college football program. Due to the fact that college football is predicated upon the performance of 18-23 year old men with raging testosterone levels, gauging the health of a program can be a tricky thing. Success is not always measured by conference championships, national championships or even wins and loses. The most accurate way to gauge the health of a program is to evaluate how its talent is assessed by an objective third party, namely NFL scouts. If the 2013 Draft is any indicator of the health of USC’s program, then the future is bleak for the Men of Troy.
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REVIEWING THE VILLAGE: THE USC VERSION, NOT THE CRAPPY M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN VERSION
By Rock Mayock 11:00 p.m. | This past December the Los Angeles City Council came to their senses and issued final approval for the University of Southern California’s plan to replace the antiquated University Village with a new multi-purpose plaza. This new project, aptly named The Village, represents the latest effort to convert the once dilapidated University Park area into a trendy retail/residential hotspot. Although naysayers have labeled the University’s efforts as thinly veiled gentrification, the fact remains that this project is long overdue and will serve as a cornerstone for the overall Figueroa Corridor revitalization. To assure that our wonderful readers remain the smartest people in the room regarding any given subject, here are the pertinent details that you need to know about The Village.
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BREAKING DOWN MATT BARKLEY’S 2013 USC PRO DAY
By Rock Mayock 10:00 p.m.| USC held its annual NFL pro day this afternoon at Cromwell Field. Practically every single NFL team had scouts in attendance to watch USC stars such as Matt Barkley, Robert Woods, TJ McDonald, Khaled Holmes, Wes Horton, Nickell Robey, Jawanza Starling and Curtis McNeal take part in on the field drills. Without a doubt the buzz around campus was whether or not Barkley’s arm would fall off during passing drills. Good thing that the FOOTBALLPHDS’ resident Pac-12 expert, Research Assistant Lina, was on site to provide her expert analysis.
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PREVIEWING THE 2012 HYUNDAI SUN BOWL
By Rock Mayock 10:30 p.m. | Your man Rock Mayock has spent the past three weeks traveling Europe to perform an annual audit of the FOOTBALLPHDS’ investment holdings. This annual evaluation produced a combination of good and bad news. First, the good news.
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AL DAVIS WAS TOTALLY RIGHT ABOUT LANCE KIFFIN
By Lina S., Rock Mayock’s Pac-12 Research Assistant, 10:30 p.m. | Hey guys, it’s Lina! I don’t know about you guys but I’m kinda pissed about the way the USC season went. I mean Rock Mayock made me spend HOURS of my time studying tape and notes on USC but it was all a waste because the team is so shitty. What happened to the team? They killed it on offense last year and were supposed to be better this year but the entire team regressed. Matt Barkley plays like a scared bitch behind a terrible offensive line and the defense looks like Swiss cheese it has so many holes in it.
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USC’S DISAPPOINTING 2012 AND THE CHAD MORTON CURSE
By Rock Mayock 11:45 p.m. | This weekend marked a turning point for the football landscape in Los Angeles. The mantle of dominance officially shifted from USC to UCLA as Jim Mora’s Bruins physically dominated the Trojans. USC’s stunning plummet from pre-season #1 to #2 in the City of Los Angeles has left many fans pondering what went wrong. Some people blame head coach Lane Kiffin. Other people blame the obvious regression of Matt Barkley. Yet even others blame defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin. Ultimately all of these people are wrong. The obvious cause for USC’s woes is The Chad Morton Curse.
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THE TOP 5 THINGS TO WATCH DURING THE 2012 USC VS UCLA CROSSTOWN RIVALRY GAME
By Lina S., Rock Mayock’s Pac-12 Research Assistant, 10:30 p.m. | Hey guys, it’s Lina! What’s up? Me and Rochelle have been on the road following the Niners for the past two weeks and it’s been KICK ASS! A weekend in Phoenix and a weekend in Frisco on the PhDs’ dime is freaking awesome. Thanks guys! In exchange for the Southwest points and game tickets Rock Mayock asked me to write something about this weekend’s big rivalry game.
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