By Rock Mayock 11:00 p.m. | The sports world will rejoice when we are finally released from the grasp of Mel “The Crapper” Kiper and Todd McShay when the NFL Draft commences on Thursday, May 8. This annual event has progressively gained popularity to become the second most watched NFL event trailing only the Super Bowl. While idiot prognosticators such as Kiper and McShay have eked out a living nit picking irrelevant minutiae, the FOOTBALLPHDS have adopted a macro prospective to the event. Using our big picture lens, we are prepared to make the following fearless predictions about the 2014 NFL Draft:
By Rock Mayock, 1:00 a.m. | Congratulations California, you have reaffirmed your stranglehold upon the title of Most Unfriendly State to Operate a Business! Your crippling combination of exorbitant corporate taxes, workers’ compensation expense, excessive minimum wage requirements, and onerous environmental regulations has resulted with yet another titan of industry electing to test their fortunes elsewhere.
MARK DAVIS, DENNIS ALLEN, REGGIE MCKENZIE, AND THE INFINITE NUMBER OF REASONS WHY THE RAIDERS ARE DOOMED
By Rock Mayock 10:00 p.m. | It has been too long since the FOOTBALLPHDS have blessed our wonderful readers with the insight and wisdom they so richly deserve. During our absence, the NFL has predictably run amuck. Peyton Manning’s arm fell off in the Super Bowl, the Combine has come and gone, free agency commenced, and the integrity of the Oakland Raiders has frayed like a mighty pirate flag blowing in the autumn wind. As a proclamation of the FOOTBALLPHDS’ return to blogging, it is time to evaluate the reasons why Mark Davis, Dennis Allen, and Reggie McKenzie are dismantling our beloved Raiders and spitting (figuratively) on the grave of Al Davis.
By Rock Mayock 10:15 p.m.| For the FOOTBALLPHDS, it’s Christmas in February as the NFL Combine is scheduled to take place February 19-25, at Lucas Oil Stadium in balmy Indianapolis. Rock Mayock’s special research assistant, Lina, will be dispatched to Indy to provide in depth analysis of all of the standout prospects. In preparation for her intrepid reporting, here is a itinerary for the week’s scheduled activities:
By Rock Mayock 7:30 p.m. | After months of life on the road in Brazil, Europe, and where ever Darryl “DoubleTap” Jenkins III found himself; the PhDs have finally returned to Los Angeles. A PhDs homecoming can signify one thing and one thing alone, the return of Name the Stache!
By Rock Mayock 12:00 a.m.| Earlier this month we commenced our dialog regarding the concepts of the death spiral, brand equity and brand equity inflation. Tonight, we will continue this dialog by exploring the antithesis of brand equity inflation, brand equity diminution (BED).
By Rock Mayock 10:00 a.m. | Did you realize that the NFL season is already in Week 15? That means there are only two weeks remaining to place the final touches on this season’s resume for MVP voting consideration. Let us not forget that the MVP award should be bestowed upon the most valuable player to their respective team. Thus meaning, without the player what would be the fortune of the team? Invariably the MVP is almost always awarded to a quarterback. The FOOTBALLPHDS will maintain our objectivity as we evaluate the primary contenders for this year’s award. Let’s break it down.
By Rock Mayock 6:00 p.m. | The fourth quarter of 2013 has been a busy one for the PhDs. Your fearless trio have been globe trotting in their enduring effort to elevate the PhDs brand for our wonderful readers. DoubleTap is currently off to Korea to tend to the FOOTBALLPHDS’ semiconductor investments. Jaboner returned to his beloved Brazil in preparation for World Cup 2014. Finally, yours truly, Rock Mayock, traveled through Eastern Europe with staff photographer Edwin “EJ” Jiminez to recruit talent for the PhDs’ soon to be launched mail order bride business. Just another quarter in the life of a PhD.