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3Oct/133

JABONER JACKSON DECLARES ED ORGERON ‘NEXT BIG THING’

By Jessica C., Research Assistant, 2 p.m. | In another sign that Jaboner Jackson has lost his mind, he has declared today at the FOOTBALLPHDS offices that Ed Orgeron, the interim head coach of USC football, is the ‘next big thing.’  Obviously, Brazil was too much for him.  In honor of Jaboner’s declaration, watch Orgeron’s ‘success’ with Ole Miss.  Yes, Ole Miss is the team being scored on, blocked, and generally manhandled in the video.  At least the paychecks at the FOOTBALLPHDS offices are still flowing!

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29Sep/134

STACK RANKING THE NEXT COACH AT USC

By Rock Mayock 12:50 p.m. : Not so surprising news broke this morning, USC fired head coach Lane Kiffin this morning. Perhaps this action was spurred by the FOOTBALLPHDS’ open letter to Pat Haden, or perhaps it was due to the Trojans’ pathetic performance last night. Regardless, a new coach must now be located. Therefore,  the FOOTBALLPHDS will now issue our top three choices for who the next coach should be.

23Sep/1310

THE FOOTBALLPHDS ISSUE AN OPEN LETTER TO USC ATHLETIC DIRECTOR PAT HADEN

pat-hadenBy The FOOTBALLPHDS 12:15 a.m. | On behalf of USC alumni, boosters and supporters throughout Southern California; this correspondence was issued to USC Athletic Director Pat Haden by the FOOTBALLPHDS:

15Sep/132

ROCK MAYOCK STACK RANKS THE TOP LESSONS LEARNED FROM COLLEGE FOOTBALL WEEK 3

Lessons learnedBy Rock Mayock 2:00 a.m. | As we know, it is impossible to issue accurate pre-season prognostications unless you hold the title of PhD.  Due to the fact that he holds the title of PhD Rock Mayock and Lina serves as his loyal special research assistant, we issued our spot on assessment of the Pac-12 over a  month ago. Thus for the rest of the general population, it is necessary to draw from an adequate sample size of data in order to achieve a reasonably well thought out position regarding any given subject. Week 3 of Pac-12 action has provided Lina and Mayock with additional fodder to demonstrate they are always right.  Here is the most up to date list of lessons learned regarding Pac-12 football action.

8Sep/132

ROCK MAYOCK EVALUATES HOW LARRY SCOTT RUINEDTHE PAC10 FOR FANS

Evil Larry Scott, Evil!By Rock Mayock 7:00 p.m. | Only two and a half years ago, the FOOTBALLPHDS professed our unshakable faith in Pac 10 commissioner Larry “The King” Scott. The appointment of Larry Scott as commissioner of the Pac 10 served as the effective coronation of the new king of collegiate sports. Since King Scott commenced his reign, quite a bit transpired for his subjects .

20Aug/130

ROCK MAYOCK VS SPECIAL RESEARCH ASSISTANT LINA IN THE 2013 PAC12 PREDICTION BATTLE, PT 2

By Rock Mayock and Special Research Assistant Lina, 10:00 p.m. | Greetings wonderful readers. Earlier this week, we polished our crystal balls and delved feet first into the upcoming PAC-12 football season. Yours truly, Rock Mayock, and my Special PAC-12 Research Assistant, Lina, could only seem to agree to disagree on our projections for the PAC-12 North. Hoping to find some kind of a middle ground, tonight we will explore our predictions for the PAC-12 South. Lets just say that it appears that it’s going to be a crosstown rivalry, both within the city of Los Angeles as well as the FOOTBALLPHDS’ office. Check it out:

18Aug/130

ROCK MAYOCK VS SPECIAL RESEARCH ASSISTANT LINA IN THE 2013 PAC12 PREDICTION BATTLE

Pac-12-Logo_display_imageBy Rock Mayock and Special Research Assistant Lina 12:00 a.m. | Well boys and girls, it’s that time of year again. The dogs days of summer are winding down and the cool autumn breeze of the college football season will soon swirl around us. As the FOOTBALLPHDS prepare for our weekend binge eating at the Tilted Kilt, it is mandatory that our resident PAC-12 experts, Rock Mayock and Special Research Assistant Lina, issue their preseason PAC-12 predictions. Who will be champs and who will be chumps? Only expert analysis can tell.

25Jul/131

REMINDER: PAC-12 MEDIA STARTS TOMORROW, FRIDAY, JULY 26

By Pac-12 Research Assistant Lina 10:30 p.m. |  Hey boys, it’s Lina! What’s up?!? Mayock has put me on lock down for the past two months in preparation of the start of the 2013 Pac-12 season. The good news is that I put together TONS of notes on the champs and chumps of the conference. The bad news is that Stanton and EJ used my notes to smoke a giant bag of alexganga’s special OG Kush they got from the Anaheim Kush Expo. Thanks assholes, you didn’t even save some for me! Now I have to go to tomorrow’s Pac-12 Media Day being held at the Sony Pictures’ studio lot. Parking is a bitch there and I’m only getting good eats if I hit Culver City early enough to get after some Café Laurent on Overland and Braddock.