STACK RANKING LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS COACHING CANDIDATES
By Jessica C. at 3 a.m. | Even with Blake Griffin dominating the land, sea, and air in Staples Center, the Los Angeles Clippers were eliminated in the first round of the NBA Playoffs. Head coach Vinny Del Negro got chopped yesterday by owner Donald Sterling. Some might say he unfairly got canned after a franchise record 56 wins this season. Others will say he was an infinite mess of ideas that didn't amount to anything more than a strong showing when it didn't matter--the NBA preseason, as the FOOTBALLPHDS like to call the NBA regular season. Either way, I have to contractually rank something this year, so let's get to it--Stack Ranking Los Angeles Clippers Coaching Candidates.
Pin It
COUSIN FELIPE’S BEST OF THE WEB
By Felipe Trinidad, webmaster, 12:00 a.m. | It’s cool that my cousins are back in town but they are reverting back to their abusive behavior. They’re always yelling at me about something. They’re all like “Felipe! The Twitter feed isn’t working!,” “Felipe! Stop playing SWKOTOR!,” “Felipe! My password to massagegirls18 expired!” Blah, blah, blah, blah. I love my cousins and everything but I wish the would get their crap together. If they’re always all up in my grill how am I supposed to keep all up to date on my hina Zuleyka Silver. I don’t know what happened to my baby girl after she got eliminated from Neustra Belleza Latina. I find their lack of consideration and understanding to be abusive.
Pin It
PREDICTING THE NEXT COACH OF THE LOS ANGELES DODGERS
By Rock Mayock 9:00 a.m. | It is a well established fact that the FOOTBALLPHDS are the preeminent authority on all things football related. In an ongoing effort to expand our intellectual horizons, from time to time we deviate from our core competency of expertise to pursue other non-football related topics. If you recall, we correctly predicted who would become the next owner of the Los Angeles Dodgers, the content of LiLo’s Playboy spread and more recently we issued our prediction of who will be the next mayor of Los Angeles. Keeping in the spirit of fearless predictions, the FOOTBALLPHDS proclaim that Don Mattingly will be released by the Los Angeles Dodgers and will be replaced by Mike Scioscia!
Pin It
FAST AND FURIOUS 6 REVIEW
By Jessica C. at 2 p.m. | Nothing has been as hyped around the FOOTBALLPHDS offices as Fast and Furious 6. Doubletap Jenkins III was able to get the team into the media screening this week of Justin Lin's latest car mash-up, which is set to launch in the U.S. over Memorial Day weekend. After watching the movie, Rock Mayock and Jaboner Jackson both wanted to write the review. But who wants to read a movie review that just says "boing!" over and over again? I sure didn't.
Pin It
INTRODUCING MELODY, THE FOOTBALLPHDS’ OFFICE ACTIVITIES COORDINATOR
By Rock Mayock, photos by Edwin “EJ” Jiminez, 12:00 a.m. | 2012 was tumultuous year for the FOOTBALLPHDS. Jaboner Jackson went missing in the jungles of Brazil, Darryl “DoubleTap” Jenkins III reportedly eloped with Cousin Felipe’s mom and the PhDs suffered significant financial losses due to a series of bad positions in the international currency market. Despite these setbacks, the PhDs have rebounded with a vengeance. Jaboner Jackson has returned from Brazil, DoubleTap was seen at the Daytona 500 along side with Kevin Harvick and the Fast & Furious 6 release is just around the corner. In short, things are looking up. To assure this good fortune is celebrated appropriately, Rochelle has taken it upon herself to hire an office activities coordinator. As with all of Rochelle’s previous personnel decisions, she has found the most attractive and highly qualified candidate available. Please welcome the FOOTBALLPHDS’ Office Activities Coordinator, Melody.
Pin It
ROGUE POST FROM COUSIN FELIPE
By Felipe Trinidad, webmaster, 2:30 a.m. | Cousin Jaboner is back from Brazil and Cousin Rock is being abusive as usual. Both of them are trying to make me work. All I really want to do is retire in Puerto Rico and spend time with my princess Alejandra Espinoza…
Pin It
THE 2013 LOS ANGELES MAYORAL ELECTION: THE FOOTBALLPHDS’ FEARLESS PREDICTION
By Rock Mayock 11:30 p.m. | Good evening wonderful readers. As we know, our quaint city of Los Angeles is currently facing financial calamities of biblical proportions. Due to crushing public service employee pension obligations bobsledding out of control the City is financially doomed. On May 21, which is less than three weeks to you and I, the residents of Los Angeles will have the opportunity to determine who will succeed Antonio Villaraigosa (aka Tony Villar) as the City’s next mayor. Upon the conclusion of March’s primary election, the initial field of five mayoral candidates has been whittled down to two choices, City Councilman Eric Garcetti and City Controller Wendy Greuel. To enable our readers to make an educated decision on election day, the FOOTBALLPHDS have performed exhaustive research on both candidates. Here is everything that you need to know.
Pin It
STACK RANKING THE TOP 5 VEHICLES THE FOOTBALLPHDS WANT TO SEE IN FAST & FURIOUS 6
By Rock Mayock 5:00 p.m. | Can you believe that it’s already May 1? There is no doubt about it, the year is officially flying by. It feels like yesterday that we were daydreaming about the May 24 release of Fast & Furious 6. In only three short weeks, we will be blessed with yet another installment of Vin “Dom” Disel and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson looking very hunky while racing muscle cars through various exotic (and erotic) locations throughout the world. Needless to say, the FOOTBALLPHDS are giddy with anticipation.
Pin It