By Rock Mayock, all photographs by Edwin “EJ” Jiminez, 10:00 p.m. | It’s been a hectic couple of months around the FOOTBALLPHDS’ office. Jaboner Jackson is on indefinite sabbatical in Brazil. Darryl “DoubleTap” Jenkins III is once again MIA. Cousin Felipe is back from Brazil but he is still on Brasilia Summer Time. Brittany Lauren is around but she is more of a workout type of girl as opposed to a writer kind of girl. Jessica C and Ana V went to the Vegas Electric Daisy Carnival back in June and decided to become “club kids.” Good help is hard to find. Luckily we still have Rochelle holding down the fort.
Being the self starter that she is, Rochelle took it upon herself to hire a new research assistant. Without further ado, lets get to know our new Pac-12 research assistant Lina S.
Rock: Lina! Welcome to the team. Your timing could not have been better. Before we get started, please allow me to apologize for the tardiness of a formal introduction to our wonderful readers. I think they are already familiar with your work but not necessarily with you.
Lina: Don’t sweat it,it’s all good. I mean it’s sick how busy you guys have been. You need to get more help or something.
Rock: Tell me about it… Rochelle’s working on it so I’m not going to worry about it. Enough about our office dysfunction, we should talk about you. We’re going to do a rapid fire question and answer to let our readers know what makes Lina tick.
Lina: I’m ready. Fire away.
Rock: Question one. What is your favorite college conference and why?
Lina: Uh… Pac-12? I guess it’s because I’m your Pac-12 research assistant and you’re paying me to like it.
Rock: Excellent answer! Question 2, what is your favorite NFL team and why?
Lina: I like the 49ers because they’re my boyfriend’s favorite team. I like hanging out with our friends and watching the games. It gets me all excited when everyone gets all hyped up and screaming. It makes me want to rock out.
Rock: Another excellent answer! Rochelle will finally have a coworker to watch games with. It’s also good to hear that someone in this office has a healthy work life balance. Next question, favorite band and why?
Lina: Damn! This one is tough. Nirvana, Hole, Nirvana, Hole… Nirvana. It’s gotta be Nirvana. I love Courtney’s rough voice but Curt was the messiah of grunge. Did you see my Nirvana tattoo? I need to get it redone because the ink was shitty but it was so bad ass when it was fresh.
Rock: Yet another excellent answer! Even though I’m more of a Soundgarden guy than a Nirvana guy I respect the answer. Final question, why are you going to be a good Pac-12 Research Assistant?
Lina: Because I’ve got some rockin’ T&A?
Rock: Best answer ever! Welcome aboard Lina.
Lina S. is Rock Mayock’s Pac-12 Research Assistant. She loves Newports, 1990’s grunge music, and the 49ers. In between smoke breaks and Nirvana acoustical jam sessions she breaks down Pac-12 teams like it’s nobody’s business. The only thing meaner than her gridiron analysis is her right hook, so don’t try anything funny. You can reach Lina by e-mailing her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Edwin Jimenez is one of the FOOTBALLPHDS' team photographers. He can be found scouring Los Angeles to bring both the city and football to life via his photography. You can contact him email@example.com.