THE ABS BELONG TO…
By Rock Mayock 7:00 p.m. | The very fit, very accomplished and very pure track and field superstar Lori “Lolo” Jones. If you do not yet know who Lolo Jones is you will once the 2012 Olympic Games commence on July 27, 2012.
The seeds of Jones’ track and field career were sown during her days at Theodore Roosevelt High School in Des Moines, IA. While running track at Roosevelt, Jones set the 100-meter hurdles record of 13.40 seconds at the Iowa state track meet and went on to be named the Gatorade Midwest Athlete of the Year. After high school Lolo briefly attended Iowa State before transferring to LSU.
During her collegiate career at LSU Jones was nothing short of spectacular. She was an 11 time All American, 6 time SEC champion, and holds a top three all time ranking in women’s amateur 60-meter hurdles and 60-meter dash.
Although Jones’ collegiate career was spectacular her road to and through the Olympics has been a tough one. Jones failed to qualify for the 2004 US Olympic Team and suffered an embarrassing stumble over the #9 hurdle (out of a possible 10) in the final heat of the 2008 Beijing Olympiad. Lolo ended up finishing 7th after seemingly having the gold medal locked up. Oops! This July Lolo is looking for her redemption song Bob Marley style as she tries for her first ever Olympic gold medal.
Aside from her on the track achievements Lolo Jones is a devout Evangelical Christian and has vowed to save her virginity for whatever lucky man that gets to call himself Mr. Lolo Jones. Our friends at TMZ have reported that Lolo has been seen looking quite cozy with Jets super hunk Tim Tebow. Undoubtedly their offspring would be both physically gifted as well as nauseatingly pious.
Congratulations to our resident wrestler, porn star and virgin aficionado Paulie Walnuts who has named his second virgin in a row. Kudos young man! Cousin Felipe will send out your latest prize shortly.
Check in on Sunday for another opportunity to name a celebrity virgin body part. In the mean time please feel free to look through this gallery of what Lolo Jones is saving for someone other than us.
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June 21st, 2012 - 22:53
She doesn’t do it for me. Too muscular.