By Jessica C., Research Assistant, 2 A.M. | On Tuesday, Mark Davis of the Oakland Raiders showed off his new general manager, Reggie McKenzie, to the world. But really, no one except Raiders fans cared because general managers don’t win games, players do. The real subject of debate was Mark Davis’ hair. Here are my entirely professional and unbiased comments about the new Raiders owner’s hair swag.
Mark Davis is sporting a combover. All right, so this isn’t exactly a combover, but it’s pretty freaking close. It’s a bowl cut with combover style. Mark is losing his hair, people! Instead of letting his hair disappear gracefully, he’s pulling the tried and true modification of the combover. Yeah, I can do without the combover style. You either have long flowing locks like Ian Somerhalder of the Vampire Diaries, or you don’t. And if you don’t, be proud of being bald, fellas. Be like Jason Statham and go ultra-short hair or just shave the damn thing off!
Mark Davis’ Options
The way I see it, Mark Davis has three options to get his hair swag back on.
1. Continue to rock the combover. This is a bad choice.
2. Go short cropped like Jason Stathan. Sorry, but this isn’t going to work because Mark Davis is no Jason Stathan.
3. Go mullet…nothing on top but long on the sides. Um, no.
The answer is none of the above, of course. Mark Davis is the owner of the Raiders now. He can afford to get some hair plugs or Rogaine. His father had hair swag and Mark Davis needs some hair swag too.
Jessica C., Research Assistant