Real NFL and NCAA Spin from LA



Raiders Jackson FootballBy Jessica C., Research Assistant, 2 A.M.   |    On Tuesday, Mark Davis of the Oakland Raiders showed off his new general manager, Reggie McKenzie, to the world.  But really, no one except Raiders fans cared because general managers don’t win games, players do.  The real subject of debate was Mark Davis’ hair.  Here are my entirely professional and unbiased comments about the new Raiders owner’s hair swag.

The Combover

Mark Davis is sporting a combover.  All right, so this isn’t exactly a combover, but it’s pretty freaking close.  It’s a bowl cut with combover style.  Mark is losing his hair, people!  Instead of letting his hair disappear gracefully, he’s pulling the tried and true modification of the combover.  Yeah, I can do without the combover style.  You either have long flowing locks like Ian Somerhalder of the Vampire Diaries, or you don’t.  And if you don’t, be proud of being bald, fellas.  Be like Jason Statham and go ultra-short hair or just shave the damn thing off!




Mark Davis’ Options

The way I see it, Mark Davis has three options to get his hair swag back on.

1. Continue to rock the combover.  This is a bad choice.

2. Go short cropped like Jason Stathan.  Sorry, but this isn’t going to work because Mark Davis is no Jason Stathan.

3. Go mullet…nothing on top but long on the sides.  Um, no.

The answer is none of the above, of course.  Mark Davis is the owner of the Raiders now.  He can afford to get some hair plugs or Rogaine.  His father had hair swag and Mark Davis needs some hair swag too.


Jessica C., Research Assistant

Comments (8) Trackbacks (0)
  1. Sorry Mark but u can’t move to LA with that haircut. We won’t take u.

  2. Haters will hate.

  3. Forget the hair, wassup with his scraggle beard

  4. I say cut it short but not buzz cut short. Any self respecting woman will refuse to be seen with a man sporting a mullett. It’s a no go.

  5. This kid is just bizarre looking to begin with. When he had the press conference to introduce Reggie Mckenzie as GM I turned to Vinny the leg breaker and said Marrone! this is the ugliest group of people I’ve ever seen at a press conference in my 69 years on this planet! I think the mother Carol smoked and drank while she was knocked up. He has one of those “my mother was a fall down drunk” type faces. I know Al thought the boy was a dummy and didn’t care for him much. Al did like playing the ponies though. He once dropped 400G’s in 84′ over 36 hours. Boy was he pissed off haha. Al buddy I miss your bets RIP

  6. quite possibly the best comment ever placed on this site

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