PHOTO GALLERY AND AFC WEST REVIEW WITH JESSICA C.
By Jaboner Jackson at 11 am with all photos by Stanton Jack (Team Photographer) | The FOOTBALLPHDS’ Research Assistant, Jessica C., has been busy working with our team medical expert, Hassan A. Riaz, MD, MBA, to keep our Wonderful Readers updated on pertinent fantasy football injuries. I caught up with her this morning over chocolate croissants and espresso (thanks, Ana V!) to discuss football. While some of our Wonderful Readers will undoubtedly jump straight to Stanton Jack’s photo gallery of Jessica C. at the bottom of the post, I recommend that you first familiarize yourself with her thoughts on the AFC West, where her beloved San Diego Chargers are again at the top of the heap.
It looks like your Chargers are once again the team to beat in the AFC West. What have you noticed about Philip Rivers and company?
Well, Philip Rivers had a f***ed up start but now he’s back. He had two interceptions in each of his first three games. But he settled down finally and hit a long-ass bomb to Vincent Jackson in Week 4 against the Dolphins. And he didn’t have any interceptions against the Dolphins. I think Rivers will have to adjust to not having Antonio Gates since Dr. Riaz said he will be out for a while but the running game will help the Bolts.
You like to cuss a lot. Why is that?
The question isn’t why I like to cuss. The question is why are you so d**n vanilla. Cussing is good for you. At least Rock Mayock knows how to fling a few four-letter words here and there. Why don’t you let me put a shot of whiskey into your coffee?
Not right now, thank you. I have to do yoga this morning. Anyway, you mentioned the Chargers running game? What have you seen so far?
Ryan Matthews has done a good job. I wasn’t sure like everyone else coming into the season about how he would play since his rookie year was bad but he’s been pretty good. I mean, he’s no LT but he doesn’t have to be. He will probably get 15-20 touches and 5 receptions a game. He’s fast and looks more confident. And Tolbert is a good goal line bruiser.
Let’s move on to the Raiders. They’re 2-2 after Week 4. Are the Raiders better than their record or is their record representative of their status?
I would say that they’re as good as their record. Come on, let’s face it—Jason Campbell isn’t the answer. That’s why the Raiders run the ball so d**n much. They can’t throw it. You keep saying that Jason Campbell is a “one-read quarterback” and now I’m beginning to see that too. But I do have [Darren] McFadden on my fantasy team and he’s been kicking ass.
Any thoughts on the Raiders defense?
It’s kind of disappointing if you’re a Raiders fan. Thankfully, I’m not! But seriously, where are the turnovers? And the cornerback play has been pretty bad. And so has their draft pick from last year, [Rolando] McClain. I’m not sure what’s wrong with him but he doesn’t even look like he’s trying. He gives up on plays. He does give nice body slams though.
The Broncos are sticking with Kyle Orton as their starting quarterback over Tim Tebow. Is that the right choice?
No, it’s not. And this is where I disagree with you, Jaboner. You’re saying that Kyle Orton is a good quarterback and should start but I’m saying that he is a journeyman quarterback. He’s just another starter who will never be great. You know what he is already, so why not give Tebow a shot?
Is it even worth it to talk about the Chiefs?
Yes, I think it is. I thought the Chiefs would be better than they are and finally Dwayne Bowe is kicking into gear again. But I think the loss of Charlie Weiss is hurting the team. He seemed to know what to do on offense and this year they’re a mess. The Jamaal Charles injury didn’t help. Suddenly, they have no run game when before the season everyone thought they had the best run game in the NFL. And according to my chart, the Chiefs have given up 126 points and only scored 4 touchdowns. Holy f***ing crap! They got to turn that around!
TABLE: 2011 AFC WEST STANDINGS AFTER WEEK 4
|
WINS |
LOSSES |
POINTS FOR |
POINTS AGAINST |
TDs |
HOME |
ROAD |
DIVISIONAL RECORD |
|
|
San Diego Chargers
|
3 |
1 |
91 |
85 |
10 |
3-0 |
0-1 |
1-0 |
|
Oakland Raiders
|
2 |
2 |
111 |
113 |
13 |
1-1 |
1-1 |
1-0 |
|
Denver Broncos
|
1 |
3 |
81 |
111 |
10 |
1-1 |
0-2 |
0-1 |
|
Kansas City Chiefs |
1 |
3 |
49 |
126 |
4 |
1-1 |
0-2 |
0-1 Footballphds.com Jessica C. |
Speaking of charts, how are the injury reports going with Dr. Riaz? I must say that you have become an excellent chartographer. Your classes at UCLA Extension this summer have paid off. I am a bit envious, actually.
Ugh! Dr. Riaz is driving me f***ing crazy! Whenever I Skype him for the updates, he’s always using words like “arthralgias” and “laxity” and “photophobia.” I’m always asking him to explain the injuries in regular people terms and instead Dr. Riaz sent me Stedman’s Medical Dictionary. It’s 2100 pages long and now he just tells me to “look it up.” What the f***!
Anyway, since you guys don’t let me post anything else, I’m stuck with injuries. It’s not so bad actually. Dr. Riaz is kind of cute, much cuter than you, Jaboner.
Sadly, that’s true. Now why are you giving Stanton the middle finger again during the photo shoot?
Like I said before, he gets on my nerves. He kept trying to take pictures of my butt.
***
All Photos by Stanton Jack, Team Photographer
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October 5th, 2011 - 13:20
Chargers are gonna flame out baby doll. It’s not too late for you to do it Raiders style.
October 5th, 2011 - 14:33
Hugh Jackman, Vin Diesel, Mickey Rourke. Give me my prizes bitches! And send me the assistant’s shirts too!
October 5th, 2011 - 18:58
Chargers suck!
October 6th, 2011 - 00:06
Smooth like whiskey, I feel frisky.
October 6th, 2011 - 00:40
Reminds me of a gal I knew when I was living in Santa Monica. Very nice indeed.
October 6th, 2011 - 18:15
Charlie Weiss pfffft!! He’s not anything other than a product of Tom Brady. The problem with the Chiefs is that they don’t know what they’re doing on defense, just like USC!