By Jaboner Jackson 10 am | The Roll Call was temporarily on hold last week while I was in Dallas attending an impromptu conference on the Eurozone so we have a lot to catch up on. This week, we covered the major injuries in the NFL with Dr. Riaz, caught up on our gambling debts in the PAC-12, and went sasquatch hunting. Without delay, let’s get this bad boy started. It’s Friday, which means it’s time to Roll Call our Colleagues, Wonderful Readers, and Peeps.
The Roll Call gets started on a serious note. Reader Jessica Shores underwent an emergency surgery last week and is finally safe at home recuperating. She emailed us some pictures of her surgery and wanted us to post them but I get kind of squeamish at the sight of blood, so I’m posting one of my favorite Jessica Shores videos instead. Everyone at the FOOTBALLPHDS offices is rooting for you, Superstar. We hope you liked the flowers and Columbo DVDs that Cousin Felipe sent your way on our behalf.
Reader Big E (@2bBigE) gets swag for pointing out my mistakes in Week 2 Hindsight. A full day of watching football and blogging can lead to some vicious fatiguity (yes, that is a real word, at least around the FOOTBALLPHDS offices) by the end of the night. Thanks for the conversations on twitter, Big E, and feel free to correct me any time.
Reader Kingbman gets yet another shout out for guessing yet another body part. Needless to say, the FOOTBALLPHDS are in awe of his moustache prowess. I am beginning to wonder if he might be Rock Mayock’s long lost brother.
Our friend at the LA Weekly, Dennis Romero, gets love for showing love to that most seductive of female creatures—the go-go dancer. The City of West Hollywood has declared October 29 as Go-Go Appreciation Day. The FOOTBALLPHDS love football, our wives, USC quarterbacks who are named Carson (Heisman) Palmer and Matt (Heisman) Leinart, and go-go dancers. Rumor has it that Rock Mayock will be dressing up as Heisman Leinart for Halloween while I will be dressing up as Heisman Palmer and Doubletap will dressing up as Keyshawn Johnson. Rumor also has it that we will be rocking our costumes on Go-Go Appreciation Day. You can read Dennis Romero’s story here but I have to respectfully disagree with Dennis about where the best go-go dancers can be found. Although the FOOTBALLPHDS do enjoy throwing back Grey Goose and Red Bull with the go-go dancers in Avalon in Hollywood--especially with Michelle B. when she’s working on Saturday nights--we prefer the go-go dancers at the FOOTBALLPHDS offices after Rock Mayock pulls off a big currency trade. Oh, Lynhthy Nguyen rocks the imaginary boxes pretty good too.
CurbedLA gets a shout out for keeping the FOOTBALLPHDS up to date on the latest costumed fights on Hollywood Boulevard. For those who’ve missed it, Hollywood Boulevard has erupted with violence by men in costumes. Spongebob Squarepants, Chewbacca, Spider-Man, and Freddy Krueger are just a few of the offending agents. You can get up to date on costumed shenanigans here.
Reader Carmen gets swag for reminding us over email that we haven’t done much in the way of NFL in LA in a couple of weeks. I’ll get back to the NFL in LA next week, Carmen.
We have been critical of Mark Sanchez on this site. Basically, we think he sucks. But we do admit he’s provided us with some fun game time antics, from eating a hotdog on the sidelines against the Raiders in 2009 to wiping a booger on Mark Brunell. Enjoy the only Sanchez highlights you’ll ever see on this site.
New England at Buffalo | The Bills have a better chance of defeating the Patriots than most think. The Bills’ spread offense has helped not only the passing game but the running game as well. And despite their early domination, the Patriots still are not generating a pass rush.
Jacksonville at Carolina | Two games down for Cam Newton, hundreds more left. Before the season, I was as skeptical of Newton as anyone, but he has demonstrated a lot more accuracy than I thought he would. I knew he had poise it the pocket and arm strength but didn’t realize that he had touch as well. Newton is quietly becoming a must-see player.
San Francisco at Cincinnati | Unfortunately for the Niners, Alex Smith was cleared to return to play after suffering a concussion. AJ Green is the real deal and will be aiming for his third TD of the young season.
Miami at Cleveland | Peyton Hillis doesn’t look dominating, which makes sense, since he never really was. But Reggie Bush looks just like the same Bush he’s been while in the NFL—not nearly as fast as he needs to be. Chad Henne has played better than expected so far.
Detroit at Minnesota | Matthew Stafford emerged as one of the more intriguing QBs in the league. Dr. Riaz always thought that his shoulder injuries were fluke episodes and they very well might be but it’s worth noting that Stafford hasn’t been sacked yet. He hasn’t had to withstand injury yet.
Houston at New Orleans | Darren Sproles plays the Reggie Bush role better than Bush and has been in on most 3rd downs. Mark Ingram hasn’t impressed in terms of numbers yet but he looks good running the ball. He needs to get more carries to develop a rhythm, which will start to happen as the Saints begin to generate leads in games.
New York Giants at Philadelphia | Just like that, Mike Vike is cleared to play. The Giants are weak in the secondary, which means that DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin will be going deep all game. Let’s also put to rest the question of Eli Manning being elite. He isn’t. He’s a middle second tier quarterback.
Denver at Tennessee | Kenny Britt is fast, sure-handed, and fast. Oh and did I say fast? There is a difference between track speed (DHB) and football speed. Britt has football speed. He’ll get double teamed again but will break through over the middle more than once.
New York Jets at Oakland | Jason Campbell is who he is—he makes one read and then fails to get to his second read. Meanwhile, Mark Sanchez is who he is—he makes two or three reads but decides on the reads wrong. Denarius Moore is a rookie but he’s clearly the best thing going for the Raiders in the passing game.
Kansas City at San Diego | The Chiefs have regressed to the point of incompetence. Matt Cassell looks confused on every play and the run game is nonexistent since the defense is nonexistent and the Chiefs are always playing from behind. With no safety presence, the Chargers will have a field day.
Baltimore at St. Louis | Sam Bradford still looks like the real deal, despite having to learn a new offense and deal with an average receiving corps.
Green Bay at Chicago | At some point, the Bears need more than just Matt Forte as their offense. It’s hard to put a finger on what ails the Bears on offense. Oh wait…they don’t have enough talent.
Arizona at Seattle | I’m still waiting for the game where the Seahawks get only 7 yards of total offense. Could this be the week? Nah…the Cardinals have an atrocious defense.
Atlanta at Tampa Bay | Watching Josh Freeman keeps getting better and better. I used to think that Matt Ryan was the best young QB in the league but now I’m starting to think that Freeman is.
Pittsburgh at Indianapolis | One day, Jim Caldwell will talk into his headset while on the sidelines. But it won’t be Week 3.
Washington at Dallas | The Redskins have a top 10 front 7 and are playing better than I ever thought they would. Sexy Rexy still is the same guy he always was.
As always, catch me on Twitter at twitter.com/footballphds. Happy Weekend, Wonderful Readers.