ODE TO PETER FALK AND COLUMBO
By Jaboner Jackson 2 pm | It's been a hard year for the FOOTBALLPHDS. Earlier this year, our good friend, Nate Dogg, passed away. Now one of the FOOTBALLPHDS' idols and man crushes, Peter Falk, who played Lieutenant Columbo on television for years, has died as well. Here are some facts and trivia regarding the greatest detective who ever lived:
1. The PHDs are unanimous in our determination that the best Columbo episode was, "A Stitch in Crime", co-starring Leonard Nimoy. The crafty Columbo almost let this one slip away but alas he realized that an experienced surgeon like Nimoy never cracks under pressure, which in turns make him realize that the evidence is right there in his scrubs, and so Columbo cracks the case.
2. Columbo's dog was added as a permanent fixture by producers so that the series would have more recurring characters. Ditto for the janky car. And ditto for the never glimpsed, off-stage Mrs. Columbo. And ditto for the trench coat.
3. Columbo did not have a first name. When characters asked him what his first name was, he would reply, "Lieutenant."
4. Mrs. Columbo's cooking was a "disaster." (Episode "Swan Song") For this reason, Columbo loved himself a bowl of chili from Barney's Beanery.
5. When ex-wife #4 and I went our separate ways, we only fought about who would keep the Columbo Beta and VHS collection. (Alas, she kept it; she deserved it.)
6. In "Forgotten Lady", Columbo lets the beautiful, lady murderer go. It's a rare episode in which he does not bring in the bad guy (gal).
7. If you are looking to spice up your love life, pop in a Columbo DVD (or VHS or Beta), roll up a fattie,...er, I mean cigar..., and show your loved one what's under your trench coat.
8. Columbo's boss, Sarge, gave Columbo leeway to solve the cases how he saw fit. Even though Columbo was always taking down politically well connected and wealthy murders, no suspect was able to get Sarge to take Columbo off the case.
9. Even when Columbo was on vacation, he was solving cases. He helped the Scotland Yard solve a case in London in "Dagger of the Mind."
10. Columbo likes his coffee black and his eggs hard boiled.
I hope you enjoyed this Ode to Columbo. Tonight, I'm flying out to Las Vegas for the Electric Daisy Carnival to meet up with the wife and her sisters, who have been partying there since the Britney Spears concert. But I hope to answer reader questions on the plane regarding last week's SEC Football Preview and have them posted tomorrow morning. Here's hoping that the company condo at Turnberry Towers is still intact because the wifey and her sisters sure can get wild.
jaboner@footballphds.com
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June 24th, 2011 - 14:04
He died? Really? Oh man, this is sad. Supposedly he had Alzheimers or something. Me and my father used to watch Columbo growing up. Me and the old man bonded over Columbo and football. Sad day.
June 24th, 2011 - 14:10
At least we still have Matlock.
June 24th, 2011 - 14:13
Are you serious? Andy Griffith couldn’t hold Columbo’s Jock Strap.
June 24th, 2011 - 15:24
Matlock was a Sheriff AND lawyer. Plus he had Mr. Furley as a deputy. Columbo can’t step to that.
June 24th, 2011 - 15:29
Come on. We all know that no one in Mayberry respected Andy Griffith. That’s why Mr. Furley…wait…Furley? Wrong TV show dude!
Anyway Terry was best.
June 24th, 2011 - 15:41
Mr. Furley was in The Andy Matlock Show!
Teri will always play second fiddle to Cindy.
June 24th, 2011 - 15:44
^^ Now you’re just talking outta your ass. Cindy was a giraffe.
June 24th, 2011 - 15:48
A giraffe that could fill out a sweater and hot pants like it was her job
June 24th, 2011 - 15:51
I must say, Janet was mighty cute and spunky in seasons 1 and 2
June 24th, 2011 - 16:04
I have no idea what you two lovebirds are doing. But I do know that Dr. Huxtable would kick Mr. Furley’s ass any day.
June 24th, 2011 - 16:07
I’m so sad :,( I love him
June 24th, 2011 - 18:27
Hey nice music, your cute and nice song. You remind me Cindy the Raiderette from 2007. Is that you by chance?
I saw Peter Falk in some bizarro play with the dude from Seinfeld a few years back before he got sick. It was hard to take him seriously without being Lt. Colombo.
June 24th, 2011 - 19:03
Thanks no I’m not her I’m Jessica shores YouTube me I’m on iTunes also!
June 24th, 2011 - 21:21
Are you from Long Beach too?
Yo Mayock, put her on Name the Calf. Screw Koolaid. Send me a T-shirt, Mayock.
June 24th, 2011 - 19:09
I miss mrs columbo!
June 24th, 2011 - 21:47
Light up your best sticky icky for Mrs. Columbo because I remember an episode where she was killed.
And then don’t forget to come to Anaheim Kush Expo the weekend of July 9. Me and Mrs. Alex will have a booth set up. This may not be as big as Hempcon but, it will be just as fun. I had a blast meeting yous guys at Hempcon and lets keep the medicinal movement organic and strong.
June 24th, 2011 - 21:24
Is this website a punked website? I find this on google when I searched for Matt Leinart and at first I was like why the hel* are these people talking about Columbo and then I was like why the hel* are they talking about Britney Spears?
June 25th, 2011 - 10:28
I am so freaking hung over but even in this state I know that Matlock is old fart and Columbo is OG.
June 26th, 2011 - 14:48
Edc sucked mmm sweaty taint this year was very janky!! This sites awesome ! I love the random columbo talk
June 26th, 2011 - 14:49
Oh ps fuck guess who’s calf do guess who’s foot lol you’d be surprised at Cameron Diaz feet nasty!
June 26th, 2011 - 23:27
Post a video Jessica shores it will be better than the Indo Smoke s*** they post on here. (Although I admit the indo smoke real thing is relaxation nation.)
June 27th, 2011 - 09:21
Jaboner good looking out saturday mang! It was gravy meeting you and the lady! Yo mad love to the lady for getting me and my gf the hookup for Rehab on Sunday I’m sorry you couldn’t hold it down with us Sunday at the pool but next time mang! Your lady hooked us up with Hurricanes slurricanes all day, best bartendress! Dayum!
July 31st, 2011 - 01:27
I just released a new single called fathomz check it out on iTunes or amazon!