By Jaboner Jackson 11:30 pm | In keeping up with the philosophy of Al Davis and the Oakland Raiders, here is the breakdown of the 2011 draft class, based purely on 40-yard dash times. As Hue Jackson (aka Hue Jackman aka Wolverine) said during his presser following Round 1, the Raiders “don’t run from speed, we run to speed.”
1. Stefen Wisniewski, OL | 5.35 seconds. Holy crap. This dude is slow. I’m not sure what Al Davis was thinking with this pick. Sure, he plays center, but a Raider center must be fast enough to run away from the po-po when the po-po tries to plant Purple Drank on your star quarterback. Grade C.
2. Demarcus Van Dyke, DB | 4.28 seconds. Much better. This is prototypical cornerback speed. He was the fastest player at the NFL Combine this year. Give the guy a $31.5 million, 3-year contract, please. Grade A+.
3. Joseph Barksdale, OL | 5.38 seconds. Holy crap again. What is Al Davis thinking? Are we playing football here or are we playing golf? We need speed on our o-line, darn it. Barksdale is projected to play right tackle, where speed is paramount, especially when running after Darrius Heyward-Bey’s dropped passes. Grade D.
4. Taiwan Jones, RB | 4.3s seconds. This dude has Raiders speed and we noted this after going to his Pro Day earlier this month. In fact, we predicted that Davis would draft Jones. Grade: Raiders Hall of Fame.
5. Denarius Moore, WR | 4.45 seconds. Speed at receiver is the only thing that matters, especially when you have a quarterback like Jamarcus Russell who can throw eighty yards when standing on his knees and sipping sizzurp. What? Jamarcus is no longer with the team? Well, go get his ass back in the Silver and Black, because I am envisioning 20+ touchdowns from the Moore-Russell connection. Grade: A.
6. Richard Gordon, TE | 4.68 seconds. This is a blazingly fast time for a blocking tightend. I don’t really know who this guy is but as long as he is fast, I don’t care. Grade A.
7. David Ausberry, WR/TE | 4.46 seconds. We love all that is USC and Cardinal and Gold as well as all that is sub 4.5 so of course this guy gets our love, despite the fact that he only had 700 yards in his career and lost us a lot of money in two games against Oregon State. Grade A-.
Overall Draft Grade: A-. These dudes are hella fast, except those plodding, gimpy o-linemen. And we all know that speed kills in the NFL. Superbowl, Raider Nation.